A521.3.4.RB_FodenJohn (Personal Reflection)

I re-count a handful of experiences that became “life changers” for me…fervently setting me to a new direction because of their impacts. I thoroughly enjoyed my childhood years because I grew up in a stable, traditional home.

        In the summer of1967, when I was about five years old, I was visiting my great grandparents who lived on an old farm outside of Philadelphia. During my visit, my great uncle and I made a wager of 25 cents for which I don’t even remember the details of the wager. However, I distinctly remember I lost the bet. I “mistakenly” hoped my great uncle would “forgive” my wager and let me keep my bright, shiny quarter. However, he reminded me that we had both agreed to the wager and I needed to pay up. I didn’t want to give up my quarter, which was a lot of money for a five year old, so I began crying. My uncle relented…he wasn’t happy at all with my behavior and not being willing to pay for the bet I lost “fair and square.” However, I remember to this day what he said to me in a cross tone, “Johnny, don’t ever make a bet you’re not prepared to lose and honor.” From that single experience, I realized I was responsible for the actions (and consequences) of my decisions. When a choice I made turned out well (or poorly), I needed to look in the mirror. Also, I deliberated in deciding how to minimize my exposure(s) to risk. I questioned assumptions and investigated options from different views. I started my critical thinking journey at a young age. Since my “wager experience” so long ago, I now analyze my circumstances to make well thought out decisions to reduce risk in professional and personal areas.

Yet as I grew older, I recognized my parents had protected me from many of the “crazy things of life in the big world.” I was going to have to be “schooled” in hard knocks to prepare for success in young adulthood and beyond.

When I returned from my Boy Scout summer camp at the age of 12 in 1974, my parents told me they had just purchased an old farm house and small luncheonette on a two-acre property in rural Bucks Co., PA. Buckingham sits one hour north from where I and my younger siblings had been raised in a busy suburb adjacent to Philadelphia. My dad bought the property without getting “buy in” from my mom (or us kids). Needless to say, none of us was happy about leaving friends, school, and our neighborhood for a “Great Unknown.” Adjustments to “life in the country” were tough over the next few years. However growing up, I learned how to work in the family restaurant adjusting to a medley of customers and personalities (professionals, truck drivers, farmers, mechanics, builders, etc.). Also, I became adept in cooking and preparing meals, “waiting” tables, as well as cleaning the restaurant. When my friends slept in late on the weekends or went to the movies, dined, or just had fun on a weekend night, my siblings and I worked at the restaurant. Not a fun experience for six years until I left for college. However, as I re-assess my teen years at our family restaurant, I realize my experiences enabled me to thrive in an array of situations and challenges. I became adept at relating to difficult and “easy going” personalities. Not that I’d admit this to my dad, but my days toiling in our family restaurant empowered me to grow as a team builder, manage time and conflicts and personalities, establish priorities, embrace unfamiliar opportunities, and learn how to build a plan. These traits served me well as I ventured into the challenges of the “big world” of college in central New Jersey.

I thoroughly enjoyed my college experience at Rutgers University over the next four years. I made quite a few life-long friends, earned a degree in Business, and involved myself in many of the University-sponsored activities: sports, clubs, special events.

My “gift to myself” for graduating from Rutgers University in 1984 at the age of 21 was to go backpacking for six weeks through Europe with my best friend, Bill. We looked forward to the adventures ahead: sleeping at youth hostels and with family; travelling via train and a Eurail pass; visiting the sites. I saved for an entire year to purchase my plane ticket, Eurail pass, and youth hostel ticket. I pored over train schedules and studied all the books and pamphlets about the seven countries we were to visit…the internet didn’t yet exist. Our trip was memorable from take-off from JFK Airport on my very first airline flight (at age of 21) to the ferry and train rides travelling from London across the North Sea to the Netherlands. Throughout our six week adventure, Bill and I negotiated challenges posed by language barriers, East German border guards at the East/West German border train station, changing money (no euros), tight budgets, finding places to sleep every night, meeting up with family and friends, as well as organizing day trips to places we never imagined. My friend and I flew from our final stop in London. We had thoroughly enjoyed the trip of a lifetime and made friends we still have to this day. I had been committed to going on my trip despite being nervous during the planning phase. I had ventured way beyond my comfort zone, even during the first few days of the trip. However, I noticed within a few days of arriving in Europe I had learned how to order a meal, arrange for a room, and plan a train/bus venture despite significant language barriers and not being familiar with the cultures. Although not its original purpose, my trip of a lifetime transitioned me from being a “play it safe home body” to become a confident, self-assured explorer. I was on my way to independence. I was no longer intimidated by new challenges in unfamiliar opportunities. I was confident and proficient in planning and setting agendas. One of the trip’s benefits for future opportunities was it empowered me to operate and plan with flexibility. I could adjust to fluid conditions with little warning. I was more proficient in my budgeting abilities as I made my fixed stipend (and laundry) last six weeks. These new tools in my “toolkit” enabled me to succeed in upcoming rewarding opportunities arriving within just two and five years of my return…becoming an Air Force officer and moving out on my own (1986) and marrying my best friend (1989) and starting our family.

References                           

Denning, S. (2011). The leader’s guide to storytelling: Mastering the art and discipline of  

            business narrative. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.

Whalen, D.J. (2007). The professional communications toolkit. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage

           Publications, Inc.